Duggar Family Values
Typically, I reserve my rapier like sarcasm for pundits and policy makers. This is a site dedicated to changing the world after all. However, I do think it is important to show that I can be just plain petty and hateful sometimes. This gem of hypocrisy gives me the perfect occasion. The Duggar sisters are suing everyone. At least they are suing “In Touch”, the police, and the government. I can’t think of anyone else they might need to hold accountable.
I hate the Duggars and all they stand for. Don’t get me wrong. The Kardashians, Honey Boo Boo, and all of the Real Housewives can bring me to the verge of puking in seconds. But the Duggars hold a special place in my dark heart. They represent that special combination of religious hypocrisy, white privilege, and narcissism that pushes my blood pressure towards the stratosphere. I will give them credit for one thing. They did help me write one of my favorite jokes.
The fact that the Duggar sisters are suing the media, the police, and the government is yet another cherry on the bullshit sundae their family has fed the world for years. The few aspects of the suit that don’t directly contradict the family’s positions and actions are held in contempt by their political co-dependent (and part time Stay Puffed Marshmallow Man) Mike Huckabee. Just to start, Jim Bob, Mike, and the conservative movement have long fought against trial lawyers and run away litigation. The family is suddenly all about the “little guy” having his day in court.
At this point, you may be saying “Scott you cynical bastard, they are doing this to save others1 from being hurt in the same way.” I would be happy to see those truly responsible brought to justice. Find me the person at “In Touch” who taught the children that women should always submit to men, and I will cheer his financial ruin. Hold the police accountable I say. Surely, they forced the Duggars to use the completely bogus “abstinence only” approach to sex education. Let the courts strike down the heinous city laws that forced the family to wait for the third known incident before the parents could report the abuse. And, whoever forced them to have a brood of 19, that they could never effectively supervise, owes Jim Bob and Michelle restitution.
I have a hard time believing the Duggars do anything for the benefit of others. The family breeds like cockroaches no matter the societal cost. At their current pace, the Duggars will account for almost 2.42 million people in just 5 generations (or more if Josh is not chemically castrated by court order). Just think of how that many Duggars could help solve problems like pollution, unemployment, and overpopulation. We should all take our hats off to them (for not wearing their “hats”3 for us).
What happened to these girls is terrible. However, scapegoating the media and other parties is not a quest for justice. Their parents created the environment that put them at high risk. The family continues to live and promote practices that contributed to their problems. Their family uses a very public platform to endorse a political movement that claims the high ground on personal responsibility. Instead of accepting that responsibility, the family is now exploiting a system that they have helped demonize. Maybe the Duggars (and the Christian conservative movement overall) need to spend more time living up to their own values before they push them on everyone else.
1I think the first “other” they need to consider is the 5th victim. You know the one who is not family nor a recipient of royalties.
2The exact number is 2,345,778. With all Duggar children (except for castrated Josh) continuing the family propagation rate, 18 children would sire broods of 19 each of which would spawn multiple generations of 19 more. That leaves the formula 18 x 194 = 2,345,778.
3“hats” = rubbers